Taylor Swift is so right about you.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize