At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
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