i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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