Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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