Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Randomize
