I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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