I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
