I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
