She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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