Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
