If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
