Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize