i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
