Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
