now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
