Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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