i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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