I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize