I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
