just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
