My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
