I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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