Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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