And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
