When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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