I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
