he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
