She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
