At least make sure they are 18
Why
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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