If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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