Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Randomize
