Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
