Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
