I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
this will be a night to untag.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
