My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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