At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
