You made me cry and you don't even care
are you so shy because you have an std?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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