So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
