love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
