i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
