honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
