3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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