Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
