Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
