if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
