I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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