but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
