i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
