You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It was confusing and full of hummus
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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