How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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