ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
