My sheets look like a crime scene.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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