: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
