i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize