I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
