that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
