I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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