some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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