I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
