I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
