u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
