i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
