so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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