I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
