my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
