U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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