you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
