I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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