I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
