hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
