It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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