White coat. Heels.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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