still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
